The search for self-worth
October 16, 2005This is more in the way of ruminations than anything else. It’s not an indicator of any difficulties in my personal life (I’m really happy with my life right now, both personally and professionally).
Self-worth is one of those things that most people pursue in one way or another. I think we’re all looking for affirmation that the decisions we’re making in life are the right ones. This is especially true when we’re younger - we always look towards our peers and our elders for confirmation that what we are and the choices we’ve made are the right ones. Unfortunately, we don’t always get the answers that we want or the self-affirmation that we need.
As I’ve gotten older and wiser, I’ve come to the conclusion that looking for self-affirmation by turning towards others is an ultimately futile exercise. It’s been my experience that just about everyone is wrapped up in their own problems, and very few people have time to lend a sympathetic ear. It’s the nature of our society nowadays - we’re narcisstic, less inclined towards community service, and more insistent that we fulfill our own needs even at the expense of somebody else’s. Not to mention that we don’t want to hear about somebody elses troubles because we find it depressing to listen to - and who wouldn’t?
One of the great things about reaching my mid-twenties was the realisation that I no longer needed anyone’s approval or advice before coming to a decision that I was happy with. I had enough self-confidence in myself to do things my own way. As a result, the decisions that I’ve made in my life haven’t always been ones that my parents or anyone else would approve of, but they’ve benefited me enormously.
The most worthwhile lesson I’ve learned from my time in Melbourne as an independent adult, is the ability to make decisions clearly and decisively without excessively worrying about what other people think. It’s something that every maturing adult has to learn eventually - I’m glad I learned that lesson just in time.
