An overcast day in the neighbourhood
November 22, 2006[WARNING: LONG RANT]
I don’t know about anyone else, but I’ve come to the conclusion that my moods are definitely affected by the weather. The weather in Melbourne was either hot and humid, or rainy and overcast. I can recall the number of perfect cool and sunny days on the fingers of one hand. In my experience Tasmania, more often than not, has wonderful weather and even when it’s overcast it feels as though every dark cloud has a silver lining.
And then you get days like today.
I can’t pin down why I feel a bit down today. I think mostly it’s the cloudy depressing weather outside. The fact I’m sitting in an office with a window facing away from either a clear view of the mountain, or the river doesn’t help matters any.
And a new MP3 player that I’d ordered for my holiday got shipped to my home address (where my parents live) rather than my work address (where my colleagues would understand why I bought it). My parents will probably give me a hard time about it and rag me for “wasting money”. **Groan**
I don’t spend money on luxury items anymore - all of the money I do spend goes into my normal living expenses. But, as my parents are wont to do, if they think I’ve made a mistake they’ll always verbally kick me to the ground and beat on me mercilessly. And conveniently ignore all the other positive facts to the contrary. I love both my parents, but I’m really really sick and tired of that aspect of our relationship. Mark it down to me getting older, less impatient and more cynical as I mature. And the fact that I’m making frustratingly slow headway at work on a LDAP-related login issue, despite my best efforts, is compiling matters.
But I think mostly, it’s anxiety about my Rottnest Island holiday. I’ve never been on a ‘real’ holiday before to a real holiday destination. Normally I hate them - you have to be sociable and friendly all the time (which I admit I’m not always). And there’s an unspoken expectation that you also have to be a party animal that loves illicit one night stands, alcohol, drugs and the occasional punch-up. And I don’t like any of those things.
My ideal holiday is a nice relaxing walk through beautiful scenery, and a chance to soak in the atmosphere of the place. It’s one of the reasons why I love Tassie so much. If I want to relax, it’s only a short 15-minute walk to Constitution Dock to gaze at the Derwent River. When I was in Melbourne, a view like that would’ve cost several hundred dollars in Airplane tickets.
I’ve just gotta hang in there and wait until the mood passes. I always have a tendency to take the smallest mental niggle and blow it out of all proportion. So hopefully a workout at the gym will help a lot - physical activity is great for battling minor depression or stress. And hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
